No Shopping Update + Those Fat Pants...
It’s been ten months since I committed to REVOLUTIONIZE my lifestyle by not shopping for a year. Yes, ladies and gents. TEN MONTHS of mostly avoiding impulse buys—mostly things like clothes and accessories I don't need. You may remember this challenge was spurred by two main objectives:
To prove to myself I was truly ready to not have a disposable income and to change my lifestyle while pursuing my entrepreneurial dreams ✨
Stop bringing crap (and crappy energy) into my house #lessismore
You may be wondering why a ten-month update and not a twelve-month. Well, I’ll cut to the chase...
I just got back from shopping. 😅
While I do feel like I owe you an update for honesty’s sake, I truly want to share the reason behind just having bought a buncha clothes after waiting for soooo long (and almost making it to a year).
In short: my dietician told me to.
If you know me personally, you know I’ve always struggled to maintain my weight. So much so that I didn’t even realize that staying a size 6 was constant work for me anymore. I just thought being on a diet most of the time was normal and that 6 was my normal size. Through some seriously duh-moments in therapy over the last few months, I realized that part of why I’m so hard on myself (and why I sometimes snap at my kids) is because I’m in a constant battle with my body… or I’m hungry.
You may remember this Instagram post from May where I publicly berated myself to lose the 8 pounds I’d gained since my entire career and life changed. Ugh, I cringe. To me, that was normal. If my pants got tight, I started counting calories again...or began intermittent fasting...or keto. Ya know, stop being such a baby and go on a dang diet!
I used my resolve to buy nothing as further motivation to just-get-skinny and fit into my corporate wardrobe again.
When I lost those 8 pounds like I knew I could, I still wasn’t happy. In fact, I watched in slow motion as those 8 pounds came right back to me.
A piece of me was fed up. Somewhere deep down, I was sick of being mean to myself… sick of telling myself that if I wasn’t thinnish that I was letting myself go, and really sick of society praising me for being “health conscious” and “getting my body back”. I began wondering if I was going to care about the difference between a size 6 and a size 8 for my. entire. life. Wondering if I would spend energy on it forever...
There had to be a better way.
There is. But I’m not totally there yet. What I mean is, it’s agonizing to eat square meals every single damn day, not diet, and just... “wait and see what happens”. But I’ll tell you this, everything else is improving! I have more patience with my kids, more compassion for myself, the desire to go running more often! More creativity flowing through my body. More energy. Real energy… not four-cups-of-coffee-a-day energy.
And this is exactly what I told my dietician the other week. (She’s teaching me how to not-diet by the way 😉). I told her, “I’m feeling amazing except for the fact that all of my pants feel tight. It makes me feel gross and terrible and I feel like I should just give up and hop back on a Whole30 or something.”
I’m sure you can guess what she recommended as a cure to this problem.
Yep, I went and bought some new pants. And skirts, and dresses. I bought things that fit me well right now. I bought things that reflect my personal style (which has changed a lot this year btw!) and things I feel great in.
Of course, I didn’t buy fast-fashion. Those days are long gone. I bought some amazing pieces from local designers, and a lot of vintage things too. Gawd, I missed shopping. Like I stated in my previous post, I realized so much of my identity and self-worth is tied to how I show up in the world, not just physically, but visually.
This post wasn’t supposed to delve so deep into my body-acceptance journey, but I’m really glad it did. I’m proud of making it ten friggen months without buying needless crap, and I've become even more proud of my ability to share more important things with you too.
I know a lot of you struggle with body image. Most of us do. I’m not sure society is going to catch up fast enough to “save” us from a lifetime of wishing we looked differently, but I’m hoping we can accomplish this for our children. At least, that’s why I’m showing up here today. Don’t let anybody else, especially not someone like me, tell you that you should care to change your shape or size. If you’re healthy, you’re healthy.
If you’re healthy, and not totally happy, you’re not alone. Today, I chose to throw a few hundred bucks at this problem, and I promise to let you know if my investments are holding up at the one-year mark!
Until next time,